results

We got the results of our chromosome screening yesterday and found out that our baby was a girl. We also found out that she had what is called Trisomy 21, which is where she had an extra 21st chromosome, more commonly known as Down Syndrome.

In many ways, this is good news. It means that our m/c couldn't have been prevented. It also means that we aren't at any greater risk of having another m/c than any other person in the world. It means that we can hopefully get pregnant again (who knows how long that will take) and we should be able to have a full-term, healthy baby. This is all great news and Dr. Jarrett assured us that we will get pregnant again. He was very happy with the results.

At the same time, it's very hard (for me, in particular) to process. Many babies are born with Down Syndrome and live full and joyful lives. Yes, I realize that this wouldn't have been a guaranteed thing and it's not ideal, but it's hard to get past the feeling that she still belongs with us, physical and mental disabilities or not. She would have been the absolute light of our lives. We would have loved her beyond words. We still do.

People can say, "It's probably for the best," all they want. I don't want to hear that. Yes, it probably was for the best. But I feel like the best thing would be for her to have lived. For her to have blessed our lives. I have always loved children with Down's for their ability to show their emotions and their love unconditionally and without hesitation. I have known several families who had a Down's child as well as "normal" kids and the Down's child was always the light of the entire family's universe. She would have been the light of our universe. There's no question about that. It feels like it might have been easier if she had a Trisomy that wasn't compatible with life.

With all of that being said, we are looking for closure on this. We never want to forget her. But we do need to try to move forward. And we are. We have decided to name her and have a few things planned to hopefully help us.

We hope that everyone will continue to pray for our little lady.

Mya Belle

In our hearts forever.

We both chose a name based on the meaning. I chose Mya because it means "great." Josh chose Belle as the middle name because it means "beautiful." She was and is a beautiful part of our lives forever.

Cheap Date! Series

First off, let me say that we had our appointment with our doctor today and we got the results of the genetic testing that they did on our baby. I will write another post about it soon, but for now, know that we are still thinking of our baby and though we certainly feel some closure, our hearts are still heavy. More to come soon...

But in the meantime, I will share with you a fun new adventure that we decided to embark upon. We recently took inventory and realized that after the holidays, birthdays, the silent auction in December, and some other events, we have quite an abundance of gift certificates! We have everything from food (lots of food!) to tickets to a local Civic Theatre show, tickets to a Purdue Convocation, a certificate for a glass blowing class, movie tickets....lots of fun things. So in an event to make the most out of everything that we have, tonight we began what we are calling our Cheap Date! Series. I'm pretty sure that we have a good several months' worth of date nights here, so we're going to get creative and have some fun. Most importantly, it is a great way for us to enjoy some time together and add a little creativity to our routine. So since we were already in Indy, we decided to make tonight our first Cheap Date! Josh's Aunt Sandy had given us a giftcard to Red Robin (looove!) for Christmas and we were able to have dinner for free! I didn't get any good pictures before we dug in (an don't even try to get between Josh and his Red Robin french fries!), so this will have to do. My favorite thing there is the delicious strawberry lemonade.
So that's what we're up to. Looking forward to some fun, cheap date nights coming up. More information soon about our results from the doctor.