results

We got the results of our chromosome screening yesterday and found out that our baby was a girl. We also found out that she had what is called Trisomy 21, which is where she had an extra 21st chromosome, more commonly known as Down Syndrome.

In many ways, this is good news. It means that our m/c couldn't have been prevented. It also means that we aren't at any greater risk of having another m/c than any other person in the world. It means that we can hopefully get pregnant again (who knows how long that will take) and we should be able to have a full-term, healthy baby. This is all great news and Dr. Jarrett assured us that we will get pregnant again. He was very happy with the results.

At the same time, it's very hard (for me, in particular) to process. Many babies are born with Down Syndrome and live full and joyful lives. Yes, I realize that this wouldn't have been a guaranteed thing and it's not ideal, but it's hard to get past the feeling that she still belongs with us, physical and mental disabilities or not. She would have been the absolute light of our lives. We would have loved her beyond words. We still do.

People can say, "It's probably for the best," all they want. I don't want to hear that. Yes, it probably was for the best. But I feel like the best thing would be for her to have lived. For her to have blessed our lives. I have always loved children with Down's for their ability to show their emotions and their love unconditionally and without hesitation. I have known several families who had a Down's child as well as "normal" kids and the Down's child was always the light of the entire family's universe. She would have been the light of our universe. There's no question about that. It feels like it might have been easier if she had a Trisomy that wasn't compatible with life.

With all of that being said, we are looking for closure on this. We never want to forget her. But we do need to try to move forward. And we are. We have decided to name her and have a few things planned to hopefully help us.

We hope that everyone will continue to pray for our little lady.

Mya Belle

In our hearts forever.

We both chose a name based on the meaning. I chose Mya because it means "great." Josh chose Belle as the middle name because it means "beautiful." She was and is a beautiful part of our lives forever.